In 1924 Ernest George Pretyman, owner of the Orwell Park estate in Nacton, donated land for a Memorial Hall to be constructed in Trimley St Martin. The intention was to honour those who died and those who served in the First World War. It was a comparatively simple wooden construction, which provided another space for villagers to meet in a harmonious social setting. It complemented the Welcome Hall in Trimley St Mary, which had been opened in 1902 and like its’ sibling was intended for all the people of the two Trimleys. In a village devoid of a village green it has been a central meeting point and sooner or later, most people pass through its doors. In the last one hundred years, the Memorial Hall has played host to many social activities including: Parish Council meetings; celebratory Dinners; Wedding receptions; Plays; Musicals; Billiards clubs; Table tennis Clubs; Prayer meetings; public meetings; Keep Fit classes; Line Dancing; Quilting.
With the arguable exception of the Parish Council, the organisation with longest connection to the Hall is the well – established and lively Trimley Wives Club. Originally known as Trimley Young Wives the group will have been running for sixty years in 2024. It exemplifies how women share their friendship, voices and curiosity about the world with each other. There is no specific agenda other than the inclusion of one talk a month on a range of subjects enhanced by a series of wide ranging extra-curricular activities. The last talk I attended before Lockdown in 2020 related to the early history of transport in Ipswich. After the unnatural pause caused by Covid, the group re-assembled and early in 2023, Bridget Gosling warmly invited me to a meeting of the Trimley Wives Club at the Memorial Hall. Please note, no invitation is necessary to join the group. In this instance Bridget was mindful of my role as Village Recorder, particularly as the talk was about the history of the group, hence my inclusion.
When I walked into the Hall at the start of January 2023, a bewildering wall of excited sound emanating from approximately fifty women obscured the polite enquiries of the receptionist. As I began explaining my presence, Bridget appeared at my side, and then guided me to my seat. The size of the group is impressive, easily enough to produce twelve or thirteen five-a-side football teams, should the membership be so inclined. With animated talk surrounding me, there was no place for shyness or reticence. The women behind and alongside chatted to me without fear or favour until a brass bell called everyone to attention. A short Secretary’s report and notification of forthcoming outings and future meetings was dealt with admirable brevity and then the main feature of the evening was officially introduced; Bridget.
Members of the Club waiting for the meeting to start. This photograph represents about half of those present.
I recorded the talk and present it to you verbatim, in Bridget’s unique voice.
“It’s a privilege to be asked to speak about things that have gone on in the Club. It hasn’t always looked like this. It started off quite a few years ago in the early sixties with four ladies. They belonged to the Church and they decided that they’d get together and have Coffee Mornings between themselves. Gradually they got a few more friends and a few more friends and this went on for some while. I moved to Trimley in 1963 and was very pleased to be asked to join. The ladies who organised it all were Barbara Small, Doreen Compton, Enid Simpson and Elizabeth Slater. I was invited to join them and soon felt at home with the group. I wasn’t a member of the Church but that didn’t matter. And we had some lovely little evenings. At the time there was nothing else in the Village other than ‘The Over 60s’ and the ‘W.I’.
But then they thought, “Our front rooms aren’t really big enough to hold all these people, what shall we do?” …and decided, “We have to hire the Memorial Hall!”, which was in two halves at the time. They could book one half and it didn’t cost very much. This also went on for a while; nothing was put down in writing. It was all very, very casual…we played games and did our little stage performances. We all used to do it and all enjoyed it because there wasn’t very much in Trimley at the time for youngsters and I was quite young then!
We got into the Hall and then decided we ought to have a proper committee. I was the Secretary at one time but we didn’t put notes down for other people to read. They were just for ourselves but records were started. After the Committee was formed, the Vicar, the Rev. Ellis Jones became the President. He always brought his mother and she was a lovely old lady. In the middle of the business we would hear,
“Daniel Daniel, I want to pee.”
and
“Daniel, Daniel, when is the tea coming round?”
We had to stop while he either took her to the toilet or made her a cup of tea. She was quite funny!
Several members of ‘The Wives’ had babies and we started a Baby Clinic …we had to have it in the Welcome Hall because the Memorial was booked up. We didn’t undress the baby when we weighed them. The worst thing was changing Pounds and Ounces in to grams. Nobody knew what to do. The mums didn’t really like that: they wanted to know how much the babies weighed in pounds. I sold the Baby milk and orange juice. We had a midwife who used to come and answer all the questions…and it went well for about ten years. And then people wanted to retire from official posts, etcetera, as I did and then this was followed by the Playgroup, also a branch of this club., which went on for about twenty years. I ran it and loved every one of the children. Now you can’t kiss a child better and there have to be two of you to take it to the toilet. … The only complaint I ever had was from the Keep Fit ladies who came in on a Monday.
Back to the ‘Wives’ meetings. We had Fashion Shows. They were our favourites. There was a little shop in Walton. The owner wasn’t very keen at first…but he did it, sold loads and afterwards we had another one later.
We’ve had one or two Presidents. An early one (after the Rev. Ellis Jones) was Ray Howlett, the Correspondent and later Recorder for Trimley. Then Christopher Leffler, the Rector, although we didn’t see much of him. Then Bert Kellard who kept the Trimley Shop and Post Office. He was good company and then Noel Smith, was President. At every A.G.M. he managed to find a joke…
Instead of having Christmas Dinner at our meetings , we used to dress up and go down to the Regal and have a proper meal. I believe Eleanor has some old photographs.
Then we had to change our names because we were no longer young and so we became ‘Trimley Wives’. We usually shorten it to just, the ‘Wives’ Club.
There was a lady who used to walk up Gun Lane. I used to see her and have a little chat…it was Kitty Smith, Noel’s wife and we’ve been friends for life ever since. She’s a wonderful secretary and did the job for many years.
We’ve had so many different speakers, we’ve had dances, Christmas dinners, we’ve had trips and holidays, we’ve had other dinners… They were all really something.’
Bridget’s reference to church membership is important as the origin of the ‘Young Wives’ movement rests in the First World War. In 1916, the Young Wives’ Fellowship was established to provide companionship for those who’s husbands were away from home, fighting in the War. Initially, it was a sub committee of the Mothers Union, another Church of England organisation which still sustains itself. Further research can be conducted using the records and documentation relating to the very early days of ‘Young Wives’ groups now deposited in the Women’s Library, now based in The London School of Economics and Political Science. (https://www.lse.ac.uk/library/collection-highlights/the-womens-library )
In the long, long history of women’s lives in the twentieth century, the second wave of feminism justifiably tends to take centre stage. But whilst not all women were actively engaged in women’s rights, many made significant contributions to bettering the lives of other women and their actions deserve recognition. Within Trimley Wives, self-education and kindness combined with lively enquiring minds has contributed to their own well-being and fed into their children’s lives. It has been suggested the name of the club is old-fashioned and perhaps it is but it is the open offer of supportive friendship that is most important. The group has no regard for the age of its membership nor their marital status and all would-be members are invited to have no regard for those of the members. Agism doesn’t exist within the boundaries of the group and for those new to the area, perhaps it is important to remember friendship does not have to be confined to our own specific peer groups.
The ‘Wives’ welcomes all women regardless of age, race or creed. Why not try it on for size? If you are interested, you can make contact with Sue Watts, via this website.
You can read more about Bridget Gosling at:
If you have any comments or would like to be part of this Trimley St. Martin project, please contact me at:
trimleystmartinrecorder@gmail.com
LR 21/09/2024
Trimley St Martin Recorder's Blog 